I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
