And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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