oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
