I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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