Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
