OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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