Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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