True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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