I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
