Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
