Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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