I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I want her autograph on my taint
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
