No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
