If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
