Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
