please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Randomize
