Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
