you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
