No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you win again, gameday.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
