Pants 0. Shit 1.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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