Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
it's like iHOP with fire
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
