boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
birth control should be required to get into college
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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