'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
