I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I could fuck to npr.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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