Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
