Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
