i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
