that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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