i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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