you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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