I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
