turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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