I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
