What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
