are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
