if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
