addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
