I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
