I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
