I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
