Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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