I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
