No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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