I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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