Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
