Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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