tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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