found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
