It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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