But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm jealous of your bromance
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
