Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
