??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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